Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
IT ONLY TOOK A MOMENT
War and fate seem to work in tandem, and for me it happened during World War II. I was a divorcee with a two-year old daughter, trying to keep body and soul together. Circumstances forced me to move back in with my parents and start looking for a job. It was at this time of my life that I got a invitation to go on a blind date with a a GI who was on a two day pass before shipping overseas to Nazi controlled Europe.
All the other guys had dates except Max, so another GI friend told him to call Ethel Kurzfeld to see if she would accept one. My response, a strong rejection of “I don’t go out on blind dates,” stimulated his insistence and succeeded in changing my mind, never realizing how this one decision would change both our lives. If at first you do not succeed, try –try – try again and he did. The next time he called I was not home so he left a message with my mother telling her he would be by at 5:30 to pick me up. I have no idea to this day what made me eventually say yes, instead of throwing him out but I did not and we had a lovely time.
As it turned out the ship he was to take him to Europe sank on its way back to the United States sank and his one-day pass turned into three days and our one day blind date turned into several. When a new ship came to take him to the war, I never expected to hear from him again but I was wrong. Before he even arrived in Europe, I received a letter from him:
He returned eleven months later, asked me that very question, and our wedding was the beginning of a 47-year successful, creative, productive marriage. Max and my daughter Gail responded to him just as I had and their relationship was another kind of love affair.
During our marriage, Max wrote five books, his first one, JEWS, GOD AND HISTORY, became a classic, selling over millions of copies. I helped edit and typed the manuscript at least 20 times which is why it was error proof when it was purchased. The popularity of this book led to invitations to meet heads of state in Europe and the newly formed Jewish country of Israel where we met personally David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first Prime Minister, Martin Buber, the internationally recognized philosopher, and Menahim Begin, who is most noted for signing a peace treaty with Egypt in 1979. Max was invited to lecture at the Weizmann Institute, a high honor.
Along with the four or five trips to Israel, I travelled whenever he was invited to Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Denmark, Holland, Germany, and the United States. Travelling helped us get the feel for different areas where we found ourselves collecting local art. The walls of our home were not only lined with art work, but kept our memories alive about where we obtained them.
Max died in 1992 from a heart condition. Losing him made it difficult to read the notes he had been accumulating about his life over the years. Finally the day came when I felt strong enough to read his personal comments about himself. Imagine my surprise when I read:
We both needed each other. Had he known I would have said yes if he had asked me before he left for Europe, he would have. It is of no matter. There is no way to paraphrase the rich full life we had together. Forty seven years was not long enough to know the full Max, there was so much to learn about him.
Today, at the age of 92, I have been without Max for 17 years. I am thankful for the memories I have of them because they help soften being alone. Without them life would be less lighthearted.
Who would have known that by accepting a blind date fate would orchestrate such a fruitful and wonderful life.
All the other guys had dates except Max, so another GI friend told him to call Ethel Kurzfeld to see if she would accept one. My response, a strong rejection of “I don’t go out on blind dates,” stimulated his insistence and succeeded in changing my mind, never realizing how this one decision would change both our lives. If at first you do not succeed, try –try – try again and he did. The next time he called I was not home so he left a message with my mother telling her he would be by at 5:30 to pick me up. I have no idea to this day what made me eventually say yes, instead of throwing him out but I did not and we had a lovely time.
As it turned out the ship he was to take him to Europe sank on its way back to the United States sank and his one-day pass turned into three days and our one day blind date turned into several. When a new ship came to take him to the war, I never expected to hear from him again but I was wrong. Before he even arrived in Europe, I received a letter from him:
Dear Ethel: When I return if we still feel the same way I will ask you to marry me. Love, Max.
He returned eleven months later, asked me that very question, and our wedding was the beginning of a 47-year successful, creative, productive marriage. Max and my daughter Gail responded to him just as I had and their relationship was another kind of love affair.
During our marriage, Max wrote five books, his first one, JEWS, GOD AND HISTORY, became a classic, selling over millions of copies. I helped edit and typed the manuscript at least 20 times which is why it was error proof when it was purchased. The popularity of this book led to invitations to meet heads of state in Europe and the newly formed Jewish country of Israel where we met personally David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first Prime Minister, Martin Buber, the internationally recognized philosopher, and Menahim Begin, who is most noted for signing a peace treaty with Egypt in 1979. Max was invited to lecture at the Weizmann Institute, a high honor.
Along with the four or five trips to Israel, I travelled whenever he was invited to Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Denmark, Holland, Germany, and the United States. Travelling helped us get the feel for different areas where we found ourselves collecting local art. The walls of our home were not only lined with art work, but kept our memories alive about where we obtained them.
Max died in 1992 from a heart condition. Losing him made it difficult to read the notes he had been accumulating about his life over the years. Finally the day came when I felt strong enough to read his personal comments about himself. Imagine my surprise when I read:
“It only took three dates with Ethel, a NJG (nice Jewish girl) to know she was the one. It must have been destiny because it was about this time I too was becoming subtly aware of my need for a basic change, but unable to know how or what to do to make it happen. One date told me I would marry her if she would have me, never allowing myself the luxury of hoping she too might feel the same way.”
We both needed each other. Had he known I would have said yes if he had asked me before he left for Europe, he would have. It is of no matter. There is no way to paraphrase the rich full life we had together. Forty seven years was not long enough to know the full Max, there was so much to learn about him.
Today, at the age of 92, I have been without Max for 17 years. I am thankful for the memories I have of them because they help soften being alone. Without them life would be less lighthearted.
Who would have known that by accepting a blind date fate would orchestrate such a fruitful and wonderful life.
A Penny for Your Thoughts
Thank God for old thoughts that won't die...but should they? Society may need them more now than it ever has. They often prevent us from repeating the same past errors - again, and again, and again. If we pay attention to the past - actions and thoughts we are bound to be smarter than before.
Did I Really Have a Brain Injury?
An undiagnosed brain injury
It never occurred to me that what seemed like a minor automobile accident would change my entire life. Nor did the seriousness of it leave a deep impression on my future caretakers. They insisted for almost three years, that….It was not serious. It’s just temporary. It’ll take patience and a lot of effort to get better.
Without the diagnosis of brain injury, I did not understand my symptoms
I had lots of patience and effort. Those qualities had always worked in the past when I was required to cope with serious challenges. It never occurred to me it would not work now.
But the realization of the error of my thinking came too late to avoid what could or might have been avoided had I received a diagnosis and early treatment for a brain injury. What was required was the correct medical care for my brain injury. I did not realize this hadn’t happened until all the symptoms had become chronic. My effort alone was not enough. The brain injury eventually took control of my life, thus making it more difficult to reverse the negative results.
Life plays tricks on us
With no plans to celebrate my birthday, it started like any other day- a day at the office, home to prepare dinner, attend a French study class for our first trip to Europe and Israel, where my husband was invited to lecture. Not in my wildest dreams could I, a NJG (nice Jewish Girl) from the Bronx, ever have entertained such an idea that on that day my brain would be damaged. But, life plays tricks on us, some good, some not so good.
Treatment of brain injury can be costly – not treating it is even more costly
Like most accidents, it could have been avoided. A speeding car hit us, damaging both cars and me. The insurance company paid for repairing both cars, but would not pay for my serious injury because of the high cost involved. Instead, they interpreted my description of the changes that occurred from the blow to my head and the brain injury as psychologically motivated. This fit me into their lower or non paying insurance category – their interpretation of my story cast me as a malingerer.
To avoid high costs, they instructed my friend, the driver of the car I was in, “not to discuss the subject with me” and he never did. Believing my driver was a friend was my error and I paid a high price for this error in thinking.
Optimism does not heal the brain
The last thing I remember was that we were going to be hit. The first thoughts I remember were, “Where was I, why was I here, flat on my back, cold, naked, wrapped in a white sheet. What could I be but a corpse?”
It took days before I learned the truth. I had been in an automobile accident. I was not aware of the major problems that were coming even after I was capable of asking the right questions. By not getting evaluated correctly, the answers to my questions did not help.
My always optimistic approach to problems, asserted itself as it always had done. Being overly optimistic was a major mistake. It made me assume I was getting correct, thought-out responses to my questions, until I learned otherwise. It was too late to avoid the damage and chronic symptoms that were left undiagnosed too long. After two years of optimistically seeking help from the medical world, and getting nowhere, I decided to seek help from other sources.
The invisible injury to the brain
I started doing research which took me from modern times back to the middle 1850s. I discovered that an invisible injury was considered psychological in nature, instead of physically induced and so it was treated as an emotional problem, thus the diagnosis of “malingerer.”
It’s sad to say, this type of diagnosis still happens today. Fortunately, there are many options and avenues in which to find answers today. If your story is similar to mine, keep seeking, the right answers are out there for you. Be careful not to accept just any answer because it came from a “doctor.” If you aren’t getting better, there may still be something wrong with you and time and effort will not heal. Keep seeking, the right answers are out there.
If you would like to know more about Ethel Dimont, go to http://www.etheldimont.com
It never occurred to me that what seemed like a minor automobile accident would change my entire life. Nor did the seriousness of it leave a deep impression on my future caretakers. They insisted for almost three years, that….It was not serious. It’s just temporary. It’ll take patience and a lot of effort to get better.
Without the diagnosis of brain injury, I did not understand my symptoms
I had lots of patience and effort. Those qualities had always worked in the past when I was required to cope with serious challenges. It never occurred to me it would not work now.
But the realization of the error of my thinking came too late to avoid what could or might have been avoided had I received a diagnosis and early treatment for a brain injury. What was required was the correct medical care for my brain injury. I did not realize this hadn’t happened until all the symptoms had become chronic. My effort alone was not enough. The brain injury eventually took control of my life, thus making it more difficult to reverse the negative results.
Life plays tricks on us
With no plans to celebrate my birthday, it started like any other day- a day at the office, home to prepare dinner, attend a French study class for our first trip to Europe and Israel, where my husband was invited to lecture. Not in my wildest dreams could I, a NJG (nice Jewish Girl) from the Bronx, ever have entertained such an idea that on that day my brain would be damaged. But, life plays tricks on us, some good, some not so good.
Treatment of brain injury can be costly – not treating it is even more costly
Like most accidents, it could have been avoided. A speeding car hit us, damaging both cars and me. The insurance company paid for repairing both cars, but would not pay for my serious injury because of the high cost involved. Instead, they interpreted my description of the changes that occurred from the blow to my head and the brain injury as psychologically motivated. This fit me into their lower or non paying insurance category – their interpretation of my story cast me as a malingerer.
To avoid high costs, they instructed my friend, the driver of the car I was in, “not to discuss the subject with me” and he never did. Believing my driver was a friend was my error and I paid a high price for this error in thinking.
Optimism does not heal the brain
The last thing I remember was that we were going to be hit. The first thoughts I remember were, “Where was I, why was I here, flat on my back, cold, naked, wrapped in a white sheet. What could I be but a corpse?”
It took days before I learned the truth. I had been in an automobile accident. I was not aware of the major problems that were coming even after I was capable of asking the right questions. By not getting evaluated correctly, the answers to my questions did not help.
My always optimistic approach to problems, asserted itself as it always had done. Being overly optimistic was a major mistake. It made me assume I was getting correct, thought-out responses to my questions, until I learned otherwise. It was too late to avoid the damage and chronic symptoms that were left undiagnosed too long. After two years of optimistically seeking help from the medical world, and getting nowhere, I decided to seek help from other sources.
The invisible injury to the brain
I started doing research which took me from modern times back to the middle 1850s. I discovered that an invisible injury was considered psychological in nature, instead of physically induced and so it was treated as an emotional problem, thus the diagnosis of “malingerer.”
It’s sad to say, this type of diagnosis still happens today. Fortunately, there are many options and avenues in which to find answers today. If your story is similar to mine, keep seeking, the right answers are out there for you. Be careful not to accept just any answer because it came from a “doctor.” If you aren’t getting better, there may still be something wrong with you and time and effort will not heal. Keep seeking, the right answers are out there.
If you would like to know more about Ethel Dimont, go to http://www.etheldimont.com
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
It Only Took a Moment
By Ethel Dimont
Pulished in: Facets of Love, On the Edge Poetry Chapter of Missouri State Poetry Society.
War and fate seem to work in tandem, and for me it happened during WWII. I was a divorcee, with a two-year old daughter, trying to keep body and soul together. My circumstances forced me to move back in with my parents and start looking for a job. It was at this time of my life that I got an invitation to go on a blind date with a GI who was on a two day pass before shipping overseas to Nazi controlled Europe.
All the other guys had a date except Max, so another GI friend told him to call Ethel Kurzfeld to see if she would accompany him. My strong rejection of, “I don’t go out on blind dates!” stimulated his insistence to change my mind, never realizing how this one decision would change both our lives. If at first you don’t succeed, try – try – try again, and he did. The next time he called I was not home, so he left a message with my mother that said he would be by at 5: 30 to pick me up. Here’s where fate must have worked her magic, I have no idea to this day what made me say yes, instead of throwing him out on his ear, but I did and we had a lovely time.
As it turned out the ship coming to take his troop to Europe sank on its way back to the United States, so his two day pass turned into a three day pass, and our one blind date turned into several dates. A new ship came to take the men to war and I never expected to hear from him again, but I was wrong. Before he had even arrived in Europe, I received a letter from him, saying:
Dear Ethel: When I return, if we still feel the same way, I will ask you to marry me.
Love, Max
Eleven months later, he returned, asked for my hand in marriage, and our wedding was the beginning of a 47-year successful, creative, productive marriage. My daughter fell as madly in love with Max as I had, and Max adored Gail as much as she did him. He never permitted anyone to call her his step-daughter. Theirs is another kind of love story.
During our time together Max wrote five books. Jews, God and History, became a classic, selling over 2 million copies to date. I helped edit and type his manuscript almost 20 times so it would be without errors or misstatements. The success of this book opened up invitations to meet with heads of state for the newly formed country of Israel.
We received invitations to meet with David Ben Gurion, Israel’s first Prime Minister, Martin Buber, internationally recognized philosopher, and Menachem Begin, who is most noted for signing a peace treaty with Egypt in 1979. Max was also offered the privilege of lecturing at the Weizmann Institute.
Along with the four or five trips to Israel, Max and I travelled and lectured through Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark, Holland, Germany, England and the USA. While traveling, one of the things we enjoyed most was getting the feel for the areas we were in and collect interesting art work along the way. The walls of my home are not only lined with art work, but the memories of obtaining it.
Max died in 1992 from a heart condition. The pain in loosing Max kept me from reading the notes he had been accumulating over the years. Finally the day came when I felt strong enough to read his personal comments and notes.
Imagine my surprise when I read:
“It only took three dates with Ethel, a NJG (nice Jewish girl) to know she was the one. It must have been destiny because it was about this time I too was becoming subtly aware of my need for a basic change, unable to know how or what to do to make it happen. One date told me I would marry her if she would have me, never allowing myself the luxury of thinking that she too might feel the same way.”
I had no idea he needed me as much as I thought I needed him. Had he known I would have said yes to his marriage proposal before he left for Europe, had he asked me, I wonder if he would have. I guess it is of no matter, as he was a man of his word, proposing marriage when he came home from the war. There is no way to paraphrase the rich full life we had together without missing some of the passion, hot and cold that we experienced. Forty seven years of marriage was not long enough, there was so much more to learn about Max.
Today, at the age of 92, I have been without Max for 17 years. I am thankful for the memories I have of our lives together, because they help soften the feelings of being alone. Without them, life would be less light-hearted. Who would have known that by accepting one blind date, fate would help orchestrate such a wonderful life.
CONFINES OF THE MIND
I would have loved to know the fifteen year old who wrote the following. My feeling is that I probably would be able to carry on a more intelligent conversation with this youth than I now can carry on with the older people I now know.
This 15 year old wrote:
CONFINES OF THE MIND
I feel you walking on my earth
Going down my streets
I find you in the chambers
I see you in my dreams
I see you walking further down
And it makes my heart leap
You sent your army to conquer my heart,
And It’s there that I find
You’re the one that I see and feel
Walking the confines of my mind.
This 15 year old wrote:
CONFINES OF THE MIND
I feel you walking on my earth
Going down my streets
I find you in the chambers
I see you in my dreams
I see you walking further down
And it makes my heart leap
You sent your army to conquer my heart,
And It’s there that I find
You’re the one that I see and feel
Walking the confines of my mind.
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